Sewer Chunk Burgers

Looking for some frighteningly unctuous burgers? Well look no further!
Rufus's Sewer Chunk Burgers are gross enough to satisfy any hunger.  A little joke there for the German contingent. 
There is no finer meal than a burger that has been lovingly formed, by tiny grotty hands, from sewer chunks. 
Enjoy this gruesome grub and let us know what you think by using the hashtag #RascallyDiner.


1 Jar Sewer Chunks
1 Jar Enormous Insect Eggs
1 Jar Stinky Toenail Clippings
1 Jar Icky Brown Sludge
50g (1/2 cup) Flakes of Skin
20g (1/2 cup) Baboon Belly Button Fluff

Essential Kit:
Oven Tray
Baking Paper
Large Bowl
Wooden Spoon

Step 1

Pour the Stinky Toenail Clippings into a pot or pan with a little oil.

Give it to your grown up and ask them to sauté (pronounced "saw-TAY") it for you. Also, whilst they are there, tell them to preheat the oven to 180° C. 

Sautéing the Stinky Toenail Clippings, or browning them, softens them so that they aren't so crunchy in the burger.  Oh là là!

Step 2

Whilst your grown up is being all French with the Stinky Toe Nail Clippings, pour your Enormous Insect Eggs into a large bowl.  

Then...mash them with a fork! Spare a few eggs, leaving them intact, for extra nobbly Sewer Chunk Burger goodness.

Step 3

Have your Stinky Toe Nail Clippings returned?

Excellent. If not, go check on your grown up. 

Once you have them, it's time to combine all our Rascally ingredients.  

On top of the smushed Insect Eggs, pour 50g (1/2 cup) of the Flakes of Skin and a 20g (1/2 cup) of Baboon Belly Button Fluff. Then, dump in the jars of Sewer Chunks, Stinky Toenail Clippings and Icky Brown Sludge.

And then mix it! Mix it real good. 

Step 4

Line a oven tray with baking paper. 

As I mentioned, there is no finer meal than a burger that has been lovingly formed, by tiny grotty hands, from sewer chunks. Now is your time to shine!

Plunge your hands into the ingredients and form it into 6 burgers.  Try and make them a similar size to avoid squabbles later. 

Then hand them over to your grown up and tell them to bake them for 30 minutes.  They must flip them over half way through - that's 15 minutes in. 

Step 5: Pop 'em between two buns, add toppings and....EAT!

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